What the Stars Would Say

For almost every entry into and exit from a relationship I've ever had, I've done astrological compatibility readings. Now, before you start calling me out on my insistence that even though I have dreadlocks, I'm not a fucking hippy, please understand that I don't live or die by my natal chart, and big part of me thinks it's all a pile of hooey. That said, I've seen enough correlation in enough relationships that I think there's a kernel of truth there, and even if it is all bullshit, having something to springboard yourself into thoughts about how you interact with other people isn't a bad thing in my eyes.

So in my search for understanding what happened between me and the T, I found this:
   "As long as the two of you can avoid playing the "insensitive bully versus vulnerable martyr" act"

And that instantly made a few things make sense. Since the beginning, I was irritated every time T would tell me, or our friends, that I was mean and demanding and "the boss" when it was entirely not true. I'd call him out on it and he'd say that it was just because he thought it was funny, but through repetition, I think we both started to believe what he was saying. I realize about myself that I can be quite caustic, and sometimes mean, but it's never out of spite or just to be nasty. I don't tease people to be cruel or hurtful. My meanness is poorly communicated honesty, which I recognize and have been working on. My bad moods are misunderstood quietness from a fairly even temper that is slow to excite or anger.

I grew weary of being thought of as a bad person by the same person who said they loved me more than anyone else ever, and by myself. I was starting to believe it.

Then there are the things within myself that I know about already, and have mentioned in other postings.
   "Aries people need to have a goal. Without the goal, life is meaningless. The goal can be long-term or short-term (short-term is usually best, since this sign isn't endowed with vast quantities of patience), but there must be a shining vision at the end of the chase. The Aries partner needs a quest, and is constitutionally incapable of settling into chronic domesticity without the feeling that there's a new challenge just around the corner."

As much as I want to fight that tendency, it always factors in.