Not Trapped in the Basement

It has been brought to my attention that my absence from social gatherings has led people to suspect that Mr. T has either killed me and hidden the body, or has me locked in the basement. Truth be told, I've locked myself in the basement. Well, actually not the basement because the basement is Creepy. There's a room down there that I think the former dope growing weirdo previous owner of the building used for sacrifices. From the looks of all the splatters all over the walls, the sacrifices were piñatas filled with tar. They're too big, and it's too much to be resin, but then, he was growing a lot of weed down there so you never know.

Over the past week, after thinking I was getting better I got slammed with a full on sinus infection. I blame it on the little kid in line in front of me at a large Craft store chain whose face was covered in snot. I'm not kidding. Covered. In. Snot. She looked at me like all small kids do, with a mixture of fear and amusement, and I think in that look she Germed me. That's gotta be it. That, or the touching of escalator handrails, door handles, and product that hundreds of other people had touched while Christmas Shopping.

I'm not germ phobic at all. Really, no fear of dirt or other people. Germs are good for you, being exposed to them can make you less likely to get sick. Well, unless they're really BAD germs. You don't want those. Common sense caution and condoms are always called for. I caught a few minutes of the Tony Danza Show as I was leaving for work and Howie Mandell (jesus crap, I can't believe I'm not only writing those two names, but in the same sentence even) was a guest. He's got full blown OCD and can't/wont touch anything. He wont even shake hands. That's fucked up. I have a coworker who is almost that bad and I taunt him by calling his name and touching the bottom of my shoe with the palm of my hand.

Back to the point. I ran into one of my dear friends who has been fearing for my life lately at the post office (another fine repository of germy goodness) and I literally burst out laughing when I saw him. The jig is up! Proof that I am alive!