My Underpants are Haunting Me
It's the third time in two months. The third time my underpants have haunted me.
The first time was almost expected, there's always something unfortunate hiding under the bed. In this instance it was a pair of fuschia boy-cut underpants under the mattress on the floor that made their presence known when a friend and his friend were helping me move some furniture around. Embarrassing, but nothing tragic. I mean, they're underpants. Big deal. The weird thing is that I'm not one to really wear a lot of pink, so it almost seemed like I had a dirty little secret exposed: I have pink undergarments. *Gasp*
The second underpants haunting happened when making up a bed for a friend who was visiting for the weekend. I pulled clean sheets out of the linen closet, threw the fitted sheet onto the guest bed in full view of the guest, and out flew a black pair of underpants. Again, they were boy-cut and this time in no way revealing of my inner secrets. I believe I yelled something to the effect of "not again", grabbed them, and ran away. As an isolated incident, this wouldn't have been a big deal, but this being the second time in a few weeks of my underpants showing up at inopportune moments, I was starting to suspect my under garments were up to something.
Now we get to this past Sunday. Brunch with friends/soccer teammates. This time we were out in public, and I'm desperately hoping that no one noticed besides me, that a pair underpants decided to come to brunch with us. About halfway through my scrambled eggs I reached down to my purse to check my phone, and laying on top of my purse there they were, black thong underpants. I was horrified. They were well out of sight, but how did they get there?? They must have traveled along, stuck to the sleeve of my black sweater, and fallen off at some point. I shoved them into my purse and started laughing.
My unmentionables are trying to tell me something. This morning, my new favorite bra broke while I was putting it on, and on the drive to work I swore there was something slightly silky hiding in my pants leg. I'm not sure what to do. How to you exorcise underpant demons?
The first time was almost expected, there's always something unfortunate hiding under the bed. In this instance it was a pair of fuschia boy-cut underpants under the mattress on the floor that made their presence known when a friend and his friend were helping me move some furniture around. Embarrassing, but nothing tragic. I mean, they're underpants. Big deal. The weird thing is that I'm not one to really wear a lot of pink, so it almost seemed like I had a dirty little secret exposed: I have pink undergarments. *Gasp*
The second underpants haunting happened when making up a bed for a friend who was visiting for the weekend. I pulled clean sheets out of the linen closet, threw the fitted sheet onto the guest bed in full view of the guest, and out flew a black pair of underpants. Again, they were boy-cut and this time in no way revealing of my inner secrets. I believe I yelled something to the effect of "not again", grabbed them, and ran away. As an isolated incident, this wouldn't have been a big deal, but this being the second time in a few weeks of my underpants showing up at inopportune moments, I was starting to suspect my under garments were up to something.
Now we get to this past Sunday. Brunch with friends/soccer teammates. This time we were out in public, and I'm desperately hoping that no one noticed besides me, that a pair underpants decided to come to brunch with us. About halfway through my scrambled eggs I reached down to my purse to check my phone, and laying on top of my purse there they were, black thong underpants. I was horrified. They were well out of sight, but how did they get there?? They must have traveled along, stuck to the sleeve of my black sweater, and fallen off at some point. I shoved them into my purse and started laughing.
My unmentionables are trying to tell me something. This morning, my new favorite bra broke while I was putting it on, and on the drive to work I swore there was something slightly silky hiding in my pants leg. I'm not sure what to do. How to you exorcise underpant demons?
posted by 2ndaryHighway | 9:40 AM
1 Comments:
Oh yes, this is funny indeed. The purse incident is certainly cause for concern.
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